you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
