let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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