so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I have aggressive nipples.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
