you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
