did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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