so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
