I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
