I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
