I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
