I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
