heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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