do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
