Capitaan dildo arrescate!
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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