this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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