Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
