My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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