Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
