She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
