she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
this hospital has no fireball
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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