Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
