You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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