I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
