there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
