is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
