you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
