Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
