I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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