I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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