I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
he laminated a picture of his dick.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
