The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
