What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Come see our sink grown plant.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
