I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
