do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
