maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
