So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
