careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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