Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
