im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
