I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
