Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Randomize
