I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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