Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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