You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
