The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
