okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
