I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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