Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
