Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Say something about gay babies.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
