I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
