i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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