if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
