Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
