Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
