ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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