you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
