sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
porn star boner night. come get it.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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