im six kinds of drunk right now
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
