Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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